Tuesday, April 20, 2010

After all....this is what we call IRONY!!!


It was just one of those evenings when I was taking a stroll on my terrace and feeling proud of myself that I could actually admire things which others can’t even see (that does not mean I am schizophrenic:-P), I am talking about my art of admiring the nature. How I could feel the freedom when the birds flew in flock and how I could feel my soul release from all the chains when it rained. Wandering for a while in the sky my eyes rested on a tiny, petite bird, which was flying aggressively in the sky as if she has just learnt to fly. I started imagining what if I had the power to fly. I could fly down to Paris and sit (not shit) on the Eiffel tower. No visa, no money and no permission from any one (bingo!). Then I thought can a small bird fly that far with the help of its two wings, fractured wings came in my mind (hehe…crazy!!). Probably, if I were a bird I could just sit on a plane and let the plane do my work, but wait a minute, do birds have a sense of direction. Oh my god, too much of pressure on my tiny brain. Can’t afford to think much, I shifted my gaze towards the world taking away the thought of spreading wings like a bird.

I saw towards the ground and there it was my next escapade. Our quarterly building meeting was taking place and all uncles some cool, some bald, some obese were there sitting in a circle, in the middle of which were snacks placed attractively. I always thought that middle portion (snacks of course) was the motivation for people to attend such lifeless meetings that too on a Sunday. But my parents were not motivated by it considering they always bunked it, a divine thing like samosa could not attract them. To think of it, two hours of boring meeting and two samosas with a cola, too less to bargain, my parent’s absence was hence explained.

I could hardly hear what they were speaking as there were two floors between us. But, the environment there was like a corporate board meeting except that instead of PowerPoint slides people were eyeing samosas diligently. For the next 10 to 15 minutes all I could see was people nodding occasionally and hogging samosas like they have never tasted anything edible in their life. Not to mention, samosas were extinct species within just 10 minutes into the meeting. What remained was the cola nicely distributed into 10 glasses.

Soon, havoc broke into the calm, serene meeting as a ball came from the ground and hit the glasses, spilling five of them completely on the ground. I thought good it fell down, it was better than drinking those sugar-filled, diabetic sure shot drinks. But, obviously the uncles did not share my opinion as they eyed the boy who came for the ball like they would explode him through their stares. The small boy somehow gathered the courage to ask for the ball and that was it, the next I saw him he was weeping profusely. I heard an uncle shout on him with the force like the boy has thrown not a cricket ball but a nuclear bomb. God, how can some people be so silly, it was after all cola not maggi noodles (I would shout in that case). Mr. Iyer refused return the ball and asked the kid to buzz off. Poor kid ran off and came with big size boys. The uncles gathered together and made a big noise as if they have spotted a UFO in the sky and were communicating like Tarzan to other species of their kind. Imagine a reporter asking Mr. Iyer when he spotted the UFO and he saying we were discussing the sewage problem of our building and analyzing the pipelines when we saw an reflection on it, when we saw up in the air it was there a UFO. Hehe…bad imagination.

The meeting assumed and my curiosity grew as I could not overhear anything from above. I thought of going downstairs to hear the gossip but they would not appreciate a proxy in mid-way, so I dropped the idea.

The meeting was wrapped up an hour before the schedule time since the colas were dropped. I think so, but I may be wrong because trading an hour against a glass of cola is no good a bargain. Within few hours, the Minute of the meeting was delivered at my door stating the conclusions of the meeting. The first and foremost point which was marked in bold and caps was “KIDS NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY IN THE PREMISES DURING QUARTERLY BUILDING MEET”.

That’s it! That was the agenda concluded by my building uncles by investing (wasting seems to be more appropriate) 10 people’s time (10 hours and 600 minutes) in a meeting. Good my parents did not attend it, they saved themselves from the disappointment which was pinching me (though I did not go through the torture in person but mentally yes!). I expected the sewage problem to end which was causing us all to enter the building with a hanky on our nose. Sewage was nowhere discussed in the hour-long meeting. I think my building is following the footsteps of our country which is wasting time on discussing Shashi Tharoor, Lalit Modi and Rakhi Sawant, completely oblivion to the core problems of poverty and sickness.